1. Respect the talking piece: so the person who has it can convey their full message without interruption.
a) When you don’t have the talking piece, listen respectfully and reflect upon what others have to say so you can build on the conversation.
b) You can pass, silence sometimes says more than words.
2. Speak from the heart: This means speaking for yourself, talking about what is true for you based on your own experiences. Use “I language” and not generic “people think. . .” generalizations, like “students want. . .” language.
3. Listen with the heart: allow yourself to hear what others have to say, without forming a response, truly listen. Honor what others say with trust, confidentiality and integrity, that this is a safe space.
4. No need to rehearse: In circles, we discover we can trust that we will know what to say when it is our turn to speak. We don’t have to think about it while we are waiting for the talking piece to come our way. When we find we are rehearsing (everyone does) we remind ourselves “no need to rehearse” and gently bring our attention back to the person who is speaking.
5. Without feeling rushed, say just enough, keeping in mind the limits of time and making room for everyone to speak. This intention is also called “lean expression.” It is related to “speak from the heart” because we often find that when we speak carefully we can express ourselves with fewer words than we would normally use, and that when we do our words often have more impact. One way to think about this is, when you are considering what to say, ask, “Does it serve the circle?”
